Just Some Piggy Humor

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat tinned pork because of swine flu.............. Ignore it. It's just - Spam.

These Pictures Will Make You Smile

Have A Great Day Within the heart of every stray Lies the singular desire to be loved.

What Happened To Our Common Sense

HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2009
Scenario 1: Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack. 1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack. 2009 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario 2: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school. 1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and walk away still buddies. 2009 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it and Mark was just defending himself.
Scenario 3: Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students. 1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again. 2009 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario 4: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt. 1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman. 2009 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.
Scenario 5: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school. 1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock because the Principal has a headache too. 2007 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario 6: Pedro fails high school English. 1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college. 2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by the state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files a class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario 7: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed. 1957 - Ants die. 2007 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly in a plane again.
Scenario 8: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him. 1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing. 2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

A Picture Of Me

I am one of the few people on earth that doesn't have a digital camara. So while my daughter was visiting this past weekend I had her take a picture of me right after I got up. I knew everyone was wanting to see what I looked like...so here I am in all my glory. You all wanna know where I got my cute slippers doncha!!!

Fibromyalgia and Crohn's Update

Since my husband left the hospital about 10 days ago, we have been at home taking care of our ailments. Yesterday was the first day that he has left the house since returning home and he did very well I must say. He had broke his glasses during his hospital stay and hasn't been able to read anything since. So we went to get him some new glasses. So now he has something to do besides look at TV. And it is a good thing we just recently bought a 46 inch TV or he wouldn't have been able to see that either! He has been pretty bored. He has now lost 27 1/2 pounds in 4-5 weeks. He was wanting to lose 20 pounds anyway, but not this way. He is getting some of his strength back slowly.
I on the other hand have raging fibromyalgia and trying desperately to get it calmed down. I recently read a horoscope that described me as prone to addiction when I am going through stressful times. I was a little shocked, mainly because it is very true. I have found myself craving to do the things that calm me, or at least sidetrack me during bad times. One is playing games online, almost to an obsession. The other is under severe stress I want to go to the casino. While my husband was in the hospital the urge was huge. I never went of course, but if it had been possible I may have tried to sneak it in.
I have found in the last several days that I have been having pains right under and around my rib cage and on my sides in my lower hip region. I attribute that to my fibromyalgia trigger points. It seems to be right around those. I sure have done more running around, standing and walking than usual and I suspected that I would pay for it in one way or another. And here it is. Plus with the other usual pain. I plan to get some extra sleep and rest for a day or so. Hopefully that will help.
I hope that all you fibromyalgia sufferers are doing the best you can for yourselves. I have found that we know our body better than anyone else. And your body will tell you when it is time to rest and get off your feet. So listen to your body and you will help it heal. For me it is now nap time! God Bless until the next time.

Gwen Stefani and No Doubt Concert

Last Saturday night I had the pleasure of accompanying my daughter to a concert. I love to go to concerts even now at my age. I enjoy them best if it is a person or group that I am familiar with and enjoy their music. At this concert I was familiar with the lead singer but not the group itself.
We went to a large venue near Chicago to see Gwen Stefani and No Doubt. No Doubt has not been together as a group for a few years so it was a concert my daughter wanted to see, because who knows when or if they would get together again. I like Gwen Stefani so I was okay about going even though there was no real interest in the group itself.
I really enjoyed myself. It was probably one of the most animated concerts that I have been to for a long time. She never (and I mean never) stood still for a moment. She is a terrific performer and singer. I was really glad that I went.
We had to sit through the first act which was Paramore. Neither one of us knew anything about them, and neither one of us were very happy with their music. They were a group that appealed to the very young and I guess you could say that it was head banger music. We were thrilled when they were finished.
For probably ten years or more when you attend concerts the trend is to stand during the performance. My theory is that I paid for the seat and I want to sit in it. But if you want to see the show you must stand. So for the 1 1/2 hour show I stood until I could stand no more. I can actually walk better than I can stand. Standing causes me great pain in my hips and legs and back. So by the time it was over my pain level was about an 8. It was a long long long walk back to the car through a crowd with some drunk young people who were walking sideways more than just forward. I kept my cool (which was very hard a few times) and told myself just put one foot in front of the other and just keep going. I can't remember when I have been so excited to see my car. It took a little while to find it but "hooray" there it was and I couldn't wait to get in.
I have included pictures my daughter took and you may notice that there is a tall guy with spiked blonde hair in a pink tutu, with black and white socks that went above his knees. And under that pink tutu was some very tight and small Speedo looking underwear. He was dressed at the beginning of the show and after the 1st song he stripped down to to the Speedo and the socks. I had the pleasure of seeing the whole strip thing. At the end of the show he bowed to everyone, but facing away from us. So the moon did shine that night for a little while!!

I Love This Doctor

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride!

My Husband and Crohn's Disease

Now for a little bit of information as to why I have been away from my blog for so long. Last August my husband went for a routine colonoscopy that we all are supposed to get when we reach our fifties. From that exam he was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. He had no idea that he had a problem at all. He has now been introduced to Crohn's and all that goes with it in a very big way.
About 6 weeks ago we started getting our medications by mail order, instead of the pharmacy. When his digestive doctor was contacted to authorize his medication, for some reason he didn't sign it. So we had to contact his office and get that straightened out. By the time he received his meds he had been without for at least a week. We think this is how it all got started. Then we went away for a weekend and he missed some of his meds because we were not on our usual schedule.
So about 4 weeks ago he started having diarrhea. He was in the ER twice and then finally admitted to the hospital when it was as bad as it could get. He has lost 23 pounds as of today. He is taking tons of medications and trying other treatments.
His digestive doctor failed him in a major way. Even after seeing him in his office, one week later talked to him on the phone, and then went to the ER to have him not admit him when the ER doctor said that he should be admitted. The ER doctor told us that he had two days before his organs would be effected. So we went back to the ER two days later and he was admitted by the ER doctor immediately. He didn't even contact the digestive doctor. I am thankful for that. Even when I got home that night he had left a message saying he wanted to change the meds and if he had any problems or questions to contact him. I was furious when I heard that message. At the time of the message he had already been admitted.
My husband was in the hospital for eight days getting fluids, blood and all that he needed. We immediately found a new doctor who was very concerned and did what should have been done at least a week earlier.
I suggest that when you are appointed a doctor that you know nothing about, and at the first hint that they may not be doing all that they should be doing, find a new one. We now know how serious Crohn's can get and to not always trust your doctor, but trust your instincts when they tell you there is something seriously wrong. My husband today for the first time showed signs that he is finally getting some of his strength back. His symptoms have not all went away, but he is going in the right direction.
I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers.

Back In The Saddle Again

Hello to all. I am trying to get back in the groove of things after being absent for several weeks. I am doing it rather slowly, but surely. My husband is home from the hospital after an eight day stay. He is doing his best to get his strength back so he doesn't have to go back there again. It will be a slow process, but we will get through it. I will write more on him later.
Sitting on hard plastic hospital chairs for eight days does not bode well with fibromyalgia at all. It took longer than I thought it would for the pain to set in, but when it came it just flooded my whole body. My legs have probably been the biggest surprise. They are really aching and throbbing at night and causing me to not be able to get good sleep. My body seems very week and sore all over. From experience it will be a week or two before it gets better.
I have several messages to pass on and I will try to get that posted tomorrow if all goes well.
Thank you all for the prayers, well wishes and good thoughts for my husband and I. They were very much appreciated.

Be Patient - I Will Return Soon - I Hope

I want to thank Cinda and Cat Whisperer for the wonderful comments. I am glad that I can help other woman feel better by giving some advice or at least give them a laugh. And I appreciate all comments or e-mails. They give me a boost to keep on going even when I'm not sure that I can.
Today is one of those days. I have not been on the computer since last Thursday making any new additions to this blog. My husband has been in the hospital and that has occupied all of my time and it will continue to for a while longer. When everything gets back to normal you will hear more from me and I will have some stories to tell.
Until then, take care of yourselves and make sure to get a good laugh at least everyday. It will make you feel better.

Among Those Whom I Like or Admire

I found this in a magazine and would like to share it with you.
Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.